Another wave of thanks to my mom, my husband, Mrs.Neutz and other friends and family who have helped to make me smile and laugh during these days. I have truly appreciated each of you more than you could possibly know. I am beyond blessed to have so many people encourage, inspire, help, care, and love me. Thank you for every e-mail, every song, every prayer, every smile, every phone call, every lunch date, everything. Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my smiling dimples! :)
Each day is getting slowly easier while still being difficult. My main causes for this depression are my money, my job, and my weight. Money is difficult for everyone and I probably worry about it too much but doesn't everyone? There is never enough. I mean, we have enough to pay the bills but never any left to get ahead. I feel like we are stuck on like a money treadmill. No matter hwo much you run, you never get anywhere. I LOVE my job. Artemisia is seriously the best place I have ever worked with the best people and the best food! My two favorite things! It's just right now I can't afford the job I love and I would take a job that I would hate just to make the money. However, I have tiredlessly searched and searched for jobs and there is hardly anything out there that I am A) qualified for, B) close to home, or C) pays more than Artemisia. Now, keep in mind I am not making alot of money at Artemisia but apparently it is paying the bills.
I have never had problems with my weight until I got married. I don't think I "let myself go" it's just that circumstances changed. I wasn't running around Best Buy all day anymore, I had gotten an office job. Fast Food was cheaper and faster than home cooked food. All the normal excuses. For the first time in a long time, I don't wanna look in the mirror anymore. My clothes don't fit right anymore. I hate the way I look. Most of the time, I just wear sweats and a hoodie so I can't see it.
After all my complaining, I am actively doing something about each of my problems. I am going to exercise classes and dieting. I am calling about all of our bills to see what we can do or cancel or change to help with the monthly expenses. I am looking for work ANYWHERE doing just about ANYTHING. Of course, any ideas are always welcome.
Broke, Fat, and on Xanax,
Larisa
Well, I feel you on all three. I know its not the same on the weight, but I went from a job where i worked out alot (walmart backroom / lawn and garden) to a desk job. I gots teh drugs for teh happiness and teh money is always tight. You have a good support structure :)
ReplyDeleteHey Larisa, You are in my prayers. I've been having a lot of problems with my depression this week and know exactly how you feel.
ReplyDeleteOne thing you might consider, if you have time to waste and don't mind getting junk email (think about setting up an extra email account) is taking surveys for money online. Some people say they can earn a living by doing it- I don't know about that, but when I actually did them, I earned maybe fifty dollars between two sites over a period of months as a single college student living at home. As a married person who pays bills, buys groceries, etc., the companies would be more interested in knowing your opinion and would send you more surveys. The two sites I used were surveyspot.com (which takes a while to process what you earn, but has no limit for cashing out) and opinionoutpost.com (they pick and choose surveys for you, and you have to have earned at least five dollars for them to send you a check). Every little bit helps!
Thanks Jessi! I appreciate the ideas and will try it out! And thanks to you too Jon! It's nice to know others out there are going through the same thing. I mean it's not nice that other people are having a hard time well...you know what I am. I'm glad I'm not alone.
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