Thank you God for the BEAUTIFUL autumn weather outside! I love sweatshirt/hoodie weather! It's my favorite kind of weather to be out and about in. My favorite weather of all is winter snow but being able to stay inside, in the warmth of my home, and watch it fall and not have to travel in it.
I am already CRAVING Christmas! I have started thinking about what my Christmas Craft/Gift will be for this year and singing Christmas songs in my head! :) Christmas is by far my favorite holiday! I can't wait to start baking goodies and decorate the tree and watch Christmas movies!
However, it will come and go too quickly. *sigh* All you can do is make memories while it lasts and remember them throughout the year.
Happy Fall!
Larisa
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
Guilt
Okay let me just start by saying I am aware I have not been writing on my blog and I'm not even sure if anyone ever was really following it. Anyways, I feel like I need to start writing again. I need a release that is my own and no one elses. Like I said when I first starting writing my blog, I honestly do not care if anyone or no one reads this. This is for me. I need a place I can let go and since I don't have money to go on an exotic vacation for several months and be pampered and waited on hand and foot, I have created my own world in my blog. I just need somewhere I can think and say what I want and let it go into wherever internet land keeps things so that I have some satisfaction knowing that it is out in the universe somewhere with lost socks and the Bermuda Triangle.
That being said ...whew... I am feeling guilty. No, I'm not Catholic and no I haven't committed any crimes. I just feel guilty. So many of my peers are starting families. While I am still OUTSTANDINGLY excited for them and wish them nothing but all the best God has in store, I can not help but feel like I should start a family too. This is where the guilt comes in. I don't want to. I am being selfish as an adult and I like it, truthfully. I like to get up when I want, eat what I want, go where I want, stay up as late as I want, watch what I want on TV, and be as lazy as I want. And I feel guilty. All these other women my age are just wanting to have children which is great but I don't. I mean sometimes I do. I always coo over new babies I see and fawn over how cute baby clothes are and for a few moments, I want nothing more in the world than to start a family. But then, I see the next Blu-Ray DVD I want and purchase it and the feeling is over. I have talked to some people about this guilt and they just console me and say "You're just not ready". Is anyone ever really ready? No. I don't think so but I keep waiting to be ready. I keep waiting on all kinds of things. I wait to go to the OB/GYN to find out what I need to do. I wait to get a better paying job. I wait to pay off debts. I wait to spend more time alone with Josh. I wait because we have 3 dogs already. I wait because I want to lose weight and get in shape. I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. I keep waiting for God to come down from Heaven and give me liposuction, a million dollars, a dream vacation, and tell me I'm ready. I know this isn't going to happen. I can dream.
I don't know. Maybe it is that I am not ready. Will I ever be? What if I'm not supposed to have kids? What if I'm supposed to be a puppy mom forever? Does that mean I will feel guilty forever then? I'm so frustrated about this. I know I am over-analyzing this just like I do everything else.
ARGH! I wish I could erase this feeling. Why can't I just take a Xanax, a diet coke, and some chocolate and just be done with this guilt?
Guilty, Guilty, Guilty,
Larisa
That being said ...whew... I am feeling guilty. No, I'm not Catholic and no I haven't committed any crimes. I just feel guilty. So many of my peers are starting families. While I am still OUTSTANDINGLY excited for them and wish them nothing but all the best God has in store, I can not help but feel like I should start a family too. This is where the guilt comes in. I don't want to. I am being selfish as an adult and I like it, truthfully. I like to get up when I want, eat what I want, go where I want, stay up as late as I want, watch what I want on TV, and be as lazy as I want. And I feel guilty. All these other women my age are just wanting to have children which is great but I don't. I mean sometimes I do. I always coo over new babies I see and fawn over how cute baby clothes are and for a few moments, I want nothing more in the world than to start a family. But then, I see the next Blu-Ray DVD I want and purchase it and the feeling is over. I have talked to some people about this guilt and they just console me and say "You're just not ready". Is anyone ever really ready? No. I don't think so but I keep waiting to be ready. I keep waiting on all kinds of things. I wait to go to the OB/GYN to find out what I need to do. I wait to get a better paying job. I wait to pay off debts. I wait to spend more time alone with Josh. I wait because we have 3 dogs already. I wait because I want to lose weight and get in shape. I wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. I keep waiting for God to come down from Heaven and give me liposuction, a million dollars, a dream vacation, and tell me I'm ready. I know this isn't going to happen. I can dream.
I don't know. Maybe it is that I am not ready. Will I ever be? What if I'm not supposed to have kids? What if I'm supposed to be a puppy mom forever? Does that mean I will feel guilty forever then? I'm so frustrated about this. I know I am over-analyzing this just like I do everything else.
ARGH! I wish I could erase this feeling. Why can't I just take a Xanax, a diet coke, and some chocolate and just be done with this guilt?
Guilty, Guilty, Guilty,
Larisa
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
My Goals List to Inspire Me and Others
- Design and Build my dream home
- Be a successful businesswoman
- Watch all of the American Film Institute's top movies
- Take a romantic vacation with my husband
- Pay off all our debts and live debt free
- Lose 20 pounds and stay healthy
- Become closer to God and live a Godly life
- Be a better friend and not take my friends for granted
- Become a mother and be the best I can
- Learn as much as I can about my career choice and always be willing to learn
- Buy a new car! :)
- Create memories with those I love!
- Work hard at my marriage to be an example and to have a happy life with Josh
- Read more
- Listen more
Larisa
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Loving Life!
Hello everyone! I are really honestly going to try to start updating weekly as the daily thing doesn't seem to be working well. :)
Congrats to JT on his Survivor sweep! Winning from unanimous jury votes and the MVP award from Sprint! I liked him from the very beginning! I am glad to see someone I actually liked from the first show win it all. He seems to be a very genuine person and I hope to hear good things about him in the future.
Congrats as well to Shawn and Mark from Dancing with the Stars! They won by a one percent margin. WOW! I was rooting for all three (Shawn Johnson, Melissa Rycroft, and Gilles) but I really thought Gilles had it in the bag. However, Shawn did an excellent job as well and I am glad for her and especially Mark because he had not won before. Mark is one of my favorite "non-celeb: dancers.
I am TOTALLY voting for Adam in the American Idol finale but I predict it will be a close call. Kris did very well tonight but Adam has been one of my all-time faves from the show. He is incredible and I'm sure no matter the outcome he will be famous!
My three year wedding anniversary is in two weeks! I can not believe it! God has blessed me with the perfect mate. Josh continues to encourage me and support me in everything I do. He is always by my side and loves me so deeply. I believe our marriage has been so strong because of the deep friendship we share and that we can still laugh at each other and uplift one another. My parents prayed for God to send me a husband that would be all those things and more and I am eternally grateful to both my parents for being thoughtful enough to start praying for Josh when I was so young and for God sending me him. Marriage is more incredible than I ever imagined. Thank you God for this enormous blessing. Thank you Mom and Dad for providing the foundation of the importance of marriage and love and being such a great example to follow. Thank you Mindy and Nate (Mom and Dad as well) for raising Josh to be who he is. Thank you Josh for being there every single second I needed you and more.
My job is going incredible as well! I am again so richly blessed to be working for someone like John. God laid out this job just for me and I am working and learning as much as I can! The checks come every week and they CASH! WOOHOO!
Well, it is getting late so I am going to "hit the hay". Gotta go to work tomorrow! I just love being able to say that!
BLESSED BLESSED BLESSED,
Larisa
Congrats to JT on his Survivor sweep! Winning from unanimous jury votes and the MVP award from Sprint! I liked him from the very beginning! I am glad to see someone I actually liked from the first show win it all. He seems to be a very genuine person and I hope to hear good things about him in the future.
Congrats as well to Shawn and Mark from Dancing with the Stars! They won by a one percent margin. WOW! I was rooting for all three (Shawn Johnson, Melissa Rycroft, and Gilles) but I really thought Gilles had it in the bag. However, Shawn did an excellent job as well and I am glad for her and especially Mark because he had not won before. Mark is one of my favorite "non-celeb: dancers.
I am TOTALLY voting for Adam in the American Idol finale but I predict it will be a close call. Kris did very well tonight but Adam has been one of my all-time faves from the show. He is incredible and I'm sure no matter the outcome he will be famous!
My three year wedding anniversary is in two weeks! I can not believe it! God has blessed me with the perfect mate. Josh continues to encourage me and support me in everything I do. He is always by my side and loves me so deeply. I believe our marriage has been so strong because of the deep friendship we share and that we can still laugh at each other and uplift one another. My parents prayed for God to send me a husband that would be all those things and more and I am eternally grateful to both my parents for being thoughtful enough to start praying for Josh when I was so young and for God sending me him. Marriage is more incredible than I ever imagined. Thank you God for this enormous blessing. Thank you Mom and Dad for providing the foundation of the importance of marriage and love and being such a great example to follow. Thank you Mindy and Nate (Mom and Dad as well) for raising Josh to be who he is. Thank you Josh for being there every single second I needed you and more.
My job is going incredible as well! I am again so richly blessed to be working for someone like John. God laid out this job just for me and I am working and learning as much as I can! The checks come every week and they CASH! WOOHOO!
Well, it is getting late so I am going to "hit the hay". Gotta go to work tomorrow! I just love being able to say that!
BLESSED BLESSED BLESSED,
Larisa
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Loving The New Job!
I have survived my first day of work and I am loving my new job so far! I have my first meetings tomorrow and Thursday. Please continue to pray for me and John(John is my boss) as we expand our business. If anyone knows of any small businesses or individuals needing some Quickbooks help or bookkeeping and organization, please let me know!
Also, thank you so much to everyone who has been sending me messages of encouragement! It means the world to me and helps me and inspires me to do better and to be better. I am definitely in need of encouragement and inspiration still! I am giving everything I have into this new opportunity and I am learning to use my abilities the best I can.
Working!
Larisa
Also, thank you so much to everyone who has been sending me messages of encouragement! It means the world to me and helps me and inspires me to do better and to be better. I am definitely in need of encouragement and inspiration still! I am giving everything I have into this new opportunity and I am learning to use my abilities the best I can.
Working!
Larisa
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