I am still looking for an EXCELLENT job with EXCELLENT pay! It is out there for me! I believe it! :) Please continue to pray for both Josh and I during this time.
Did anyone else watch American Idol tonight? Awww yeah! Let me just go ahead and give my three votes for tomorrow's results show.
1. Adam Lambert
2. Allison Iraheta
3. Mishavonna Henson
I thought Allison Iraheta STOLE THE SHOW! She was so amazing! I love her style and her raw talent! I really think she will continue to go far in the competition as long as she continues to make good song choices. She was the tie for the top performance of the night in my opinion. For being so young, she had such a natural stage presence. YOU GO GIRL!
Adam Lambert has been one of my top faves from the beginning. His range is so incredible! I really think Adam and Allison should do a duet! It would ROCK! Especially that last note he hit! AMAZING!
Mishavonna really didn't give a terribly great performance tonight but I think she was the only other contestant that "tried" tonight. She seems WAY too old for her age. She really needs to show America that she can be contemporary. She is young. She needs to act like it. :)
Overall I was really disappointed with tonight's group. It seemed like only Adam and Allison brought their "A" game. Everyone else seemed uncomfortable and awkward. Seriously, the top 36 need to be coached on how to pick a song that plays to their stengths. Especially like Matt Giraud, the dueling piano player, I really wanted to wring his neck tonight!!! He was one of my favorites and what got him onto the show was his jazzy cool voice and he totally messed it up by changing his whole image and sound to like pop rock! :( Come on now! Group 3 BRING IT ON!
The Fifth Judge,
Larisa
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Blog Inspiration Random Questions
Q: What were your fears, expectations, & anticipations about getting married?
A: I don't think I ever had any fears about getting married. I guess before I met Josh I had the fear that I would maybe marry the wrong person. That's so silly really. Once Josh was in my life, I had no question in my mind that he was the right person for me. The only time I ever think I was "afraid" of getting married was the second before I walked out of the door to start walking down the aisle. My heart skipped ONE beat. Then I saw him, smiling back at me and that was all that mattered. I had such a good example of marriage in my parents. Now, I didn't say it was perfect, no marriage is. I think that was what I expected though. My parents have a very strong marriage, filled with ups and downs, arguments and agreements. So I knew as long as I had the right partner that the marriage would be great. I expected it to be tough and I expected to work at it and we do.
It has been the best thing I have ever done. I love being married and having Josh beside me.
Q: What special things did you do with your father?
A: I remember waiting for dad to come home from a job and making him cards or crowns and leaving them on the kitchen table for him to see when he came in the door. He would also usually bring me candy like skittles when he came home too! I remember when he couldn't be at one of my dance recitals and he sent me flowers and a stuffed puppy dog. I remember being really little and always wanting to do office work like dad did. I would scribble through a whole legal pad. Boy I thought I was big! :) I remember my 13th birthday and the letter he wrote me and the necklace he gave me. I remember him reading the same letter at my wedding rehearsal dinner and there wasn't a dry eye in the auidence. I remember his smile on my wedding day and how proud he was of me and still is. :) I trully believe my dad is the most hard working man I have ever met. I am so proud of him and all the work he does. I hope I make him just as proud of me as I am of him.
Needing Inspiration & Finding It,
Larisa
A: I don't think I ever had any fears about getting married. I guess before I met Josh I had the fear that I would maybe marry the wrong person. That's so silly really. Once Josh was in my life, I had no question in my mind that he was the right person for me. The only time I ever think I was "afraid" of getting married was the second before I walked out of the door to start walking down the aisle. My heart skipped ONE beat. Then I saw him, smiling back at me and that was all that mattered. I had such a good example of marriage in my parents. Now, I didn't say it was perfect, no marriage is. I think that was what I expected though. My parents have a very strong marriage, filled with ups and downs, arguments and agreements. So I knew as long as I had the right partner that the marriage would be great. I expected it to be tough and I expected to work at it and we do.
It has been the best thing I have ever done. I love being married and having Josh beside me.
Q: What special things did you do with your father?
A: I remember waiting for dad to come home from a job and making him cards or crowns and leaving them on the kitchen table for him to see when he came in the door. He would also usually bring me candy like skittles when he came home too! I remember when he couldn't be at one of my dance recitals and he sent me flowers and a stuffed puppy dog. I remember being really little and always wanting to do office work like dad did. I would scribble through a whole legal pad. Boy I thought I was big! :) I remember my 13th birthday and the letter he wrote me and the necklace he gave me. I remember him reading the same letter at my wedding rehearsal dinner and there wasn't a dry eye in the auidence. I remember his smile on my wedding day and how proud he was of me and still is. :) I trully believe my dad is the most hard working man I have ever met. I am so proud of him and all the work he does. I hope I make him just as proud of me as I am of him.
Needing Inspiration & Finding It,
Larisa
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Updates and Apologies
I am so sorry I have not been updating as regular as I normally do. I have been a busy girl!
Here are some updates to the blog:
1. Obviously I've been doing some "web designing". I hope everyone enjoys the new look. I know I do!
2. If you would rather receive blog updates by e-mail, please let me know. You can e-mail me at larisacrawley@insightbb.com or comment to this blog. If you do decide that you want to receive e-mails, the blog will automatically send you an e-mail whenever I update my blog posts.
Here are some updates to my life:
1. I have been going to exercise classes with my mom and one of her best friends, Sharon. I have been enjoying these classes so much! They are really fun! I mean it's not fun waking up early to go work out but the classes really get me motivated. I have also been dieting on Weight Watchers independently from the meetings. This also seems to be going well too. I am trying really hard to eat very healthy and cook healthier foods. If anyone is interested in seeing some really great recipes on here, let me know. I have plenty!
2. The job search continues. Please continue to pray for me and Josh during this time. Our marriage is so strong but our finances are not. I know all of you have been there. Please pray for us. I'm glad I picked my best friend to marry otherwise staying at home all the time because we can't afford to go out would get boring. :)
3. I got to see my Elizabeth and my Maddie yesterday! Both of them are such miracles to me. No matter how long it's been since we get together, Elizabeth and I have such a strong friendship bond that never wears thin. God has blessed me with such an incredible best friend who is now such an amazing mom to a beautiful baby girl! Maddie is such a doll! I could stare at her all day and never be bored. She is so unbelievable and smart and happy and so full of personality.
4. I am literally dying inside to get back to my music. I believe that will be my next obstacle. I just can't seem to get the nerve to sit at the piano and play what I remember because I'm afraid it won't be alot.:)
Well, there you have it. Updates and apologies all in one!
Updated,
Larisa
Here are some updates to the blog:
1. Obviously I've been doing some "web designing". I hope everyone enjoys the new look. I know I do!
2. If you would rather receive blog updates by e-mail, please let me know. You can e-mail me at larisacrawley@insightbb.com or comment to this blog. If you do decide that you want to receive e-mails, the blog will automatically send you an e-mail whenever I update my blog posts.
Here are some updates to my life:
1. I have been going to exercise classes with my mom and one of her best friends, Sharon. I have been enjoying these classes so much! They are really fun! I mean it's not fun waking up early to go work out but the classes really get me motivated. I have also been dieting on Weight Watchers independently from the meetings. This also seems to be going well too. I am trying really hard to eat very healthy and cook healthier foods. If anyone is interested in seeing some really great recipes on here, let me know. I have plenty!
2. The job search continues. Please continue to pray for me and Josh during this time. Our marriage is so strong but our finances are not. I know all of you have been there. Please pray for us. I'm glad I picked my best friend to marry otherwise staying at home all the time because we can't afford to go out would get boring. :)
3. I got to see my Elizabeth and my Maddie yesterday! Both of them are such miracles to me. No matter how long it's been since we get together, Elizabeth and I have such a strong friendship bond that never wears thin. God has blessed me with such an incredible best friend who is now such an amazing mom to a beautiful baby girl! Maddie is such a doll! I could stare at her all day and never be bored. She is so unbelievable and smart and happy and so full of personality.
4. I am literally dying inside to get back to my music. I believe that will be my next obstacle. I just can't seem to get the nerve to sit at the piano and play what I remember because I'm afraid it won't be alot.:)
Well, there you have it. Updates and apologies all in one!
Updated,
Larisa
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Needing Prayer Warriors
Calling all prayer warriors...urgent request! Larisa needs a job that pays MONEY! I can no longer do "volunteer" work. I am actively looking for a GREAT job with GREAT people that pays GREAT money. It IS out there. I need guidance and prayers PLEASE.
Full Grown Hannah
On an unrelated note, Hannah's birthday is on Valentine's Day and she turns 1! Yeah! Happy Birthday Hannah!
Baby Hannah
Baby Hannah
Full Grown HannahAnyone who knows me knows I love my "babies"! Everyday they do something to make me laugh and smile. No mater what they always greet me with wagging tails and licking tongues. Here are some dog quotes that I have found true. Enjoy!
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies." - Gene Hill
"Even the tiniest poodle or chihuahua is still a wolf at heart." - Dorothy Hinshaw
"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of its tail." - Steven Wright
"I hope if dogs take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go up in size, because I bet there are some chihuahuas with some good ideas." - Jack Handy
"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich." - Louis Sabin
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." - Christopher Morley
"The average dog is nicer is a nicer person than the average person." - Andrew Rooney
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - Mark Twain
"My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I should be doing." - Lonzo Idolswine
"I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking' and he'd look at me like he was saying 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to'." - Fred Jungclaus
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked at your face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
"You think dogs will not be heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us." - Robert Stevenson
"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job." - Franklin Jones
"No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has." - Will Rogers
"You do not own a dog, the dog owns you." - Unknown
"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too." - Samuel Butler
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." - Ben Williams
"A dog wags his tail with his heart." - Martin Buxbaum
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself." - Josh Billings
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." - Holbrook Jackson
"My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am." - Toby & Eileen Green
Tail Wagging,
Larisa
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot little puppies." - Gene Hill
"Even the tiniest poodle or chihuahua is still a wolf at heart." - Dorothy Hinshaw
"To err is human, to forgive, canine." - Unknown
"Money will buy you a pretty good dog but it won't buy the wag of its tail." - Steven Wright
"I hope if dogs take over the world, and they choose a king, they don't just go up in size, because I bet there are some chihuahuas with some good ideas." - Jack Handy
"No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich." - Louis Sabin
"No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as the dog does." - Christopher Morley
"The average dog is nicer is a nicer person than the average person." - Andrew Rooney
"If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man." - Mark Twain
"My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I should be doing." - Lonzo Idolswine
"I used to look at [my dog] Smokey and think 'If you were a little smarter you could tell me what you were thinking' and he'd look at me like he was saying 'If you were a little smarter, I wouldn't have to'." - Fred Jungclaus
"If a dog will not come to you after having looked at your face, you should go home and examine your conscience." - Woodrow Wilson
"You think dogs will not be heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us." - Robert Stevenson
"Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job." - Franklin Jones
"No man can be condemned for owning a dog. As long as he has a dog, he has a friend; and the poorer he gets, the better friend he has." - Will Rogers
"You do not own a dog, the dog owns you." - Unknown
"The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too." - Samuel Butler
"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." - Ben Williams
"A dog wags his tail with his heart." - Martin Buxbaum
"A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself." - Josh Billings
"Man is a dog's idea of what God should be." - Holbrook Jackson
"My goal in life is to become as wonderful as my dog thinks I am." - Toby & Eileen Green
Tail Wagging,
Larisa
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Pink Polish
I am girly today.
Pink nail polish and a hair color change makes the world better.
I am beautiful today.
Expensive perfume and jewelry accessorize me perfectly.
I am sexy today.
Deep brown eyes and a sly grin bring out my gorgeousness.
I am singing today.
Listening to my voice is a powerful jolt of confidence.
I am strong today.
No one is taking my joy away today. No one.
I am confident today.
Fake people, I can see through you and so can everyone else.
I am original today.
Can't be anyone but myself and no one else can be me.
I am determined today.
Bad memories and haunting ugliness will NOT phase me, break me, kill me, or shatter me.
I am right today.
"They" may try to blame everything on me but "they" can't when it is "their" irresponsibility that causes it. NOT ME.
I am loud today.
I AM WORTH IT, VALUABLE, LOVED, INTELLIGENT, AND NO ONE CAN TAKE IT AWAY ANYMORE.
Larisa 2009
Pink nail polish and a hair color change makes the world better.
I am beautiful today.
Expensive perfume and jewelry accessorize me perfectly.
I am sexy today.
Deep brown eyes and a sly grin bring out my gorgeousness.
I am singing today.
Listening to my voice is a powerful jolt of confidence.
I am strong today.
No one is taking my joy away today. No one.
I am confident today.
Fake people, I can see through you and so can everyone else.
I am original today.
Can't be anyone but myself and no one else can be me.
I am determined today.
Bad memories and haunting ugliness will NOT phase me, break me, kill me, or shatter me.
I am right today.
"They" may try to blame everything on me but "they" can't when it is "their" irresponsibility that causes it. NOT ME.
I am loud today.
I AM WORTH IT, VALUABLE, LOVED, INTELLIGENT, AND NO ONE CAN TAKE IT AWAY ANYMORE.
Larisa 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Better Days
Finally, a semi-normal day for me. Ahh...it is pleasant. I am beginning to see more clearly. I hate the fogginess. I really do. I hate the sad, low, blue, negative, stressed, depressed, ugly, nastiness of being in that "bad place". Another sigh of much needed relief.
However, I have a new kind of pain. The good kind. The kind in your muscles from a good workout. I started my new exercise class on Friday with my mom. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It's a good stress reliever. " Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't." (Elle Woods, Legally Blonde) Sorry I really couldn't help it, it was such a good movie quote moment. :) I guess it's easier to be more positive when you can see that something ANYTHING is happening. You are making an effort towards your goal. So, needless to say, I can't wait to go back to our class on Monday for another dose of butt kicking! :)
Also good movies always help me out. Josh and I rented "Zack and Miri Make a Porno". Yes it is rated R. Yes it is about Porn. Yes it has EXCESSIVE language and nudity. But what you may not know is that it is written and directed by one of my favorites, Kevin Smith, who also wrote and directed "Clerks", "Dogma", "Mallrats", "Chasing Amy" and "Jersey Girl". This movie is what you would expect from Kevin Smith, which means it delivers smart "word" comedy, dirty "naughty" comedy, sweet moments in unexpected places, and a great cast. If you are willing to lower your standards and are prepared for ANYTHING, see this movie! Seriously, you won't regret it. Well...maybe a little, but you'll definitely enjoy it more than you ever thought you would enjoy a movie about making a porno. I know I did.
Larisa's "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" Rating: A+ for orignality, comedy genius, and a satisfying ending that only Kevin Smith can give me. (No dirty pun intended)
Feeling Better,
Larisa
However, I have a new kind of pain. The good kind. The kind in your muscles from a good workout. I started my new exercise class on Friday with my mom. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. It's a good stress reliever. " Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't." (Elle Woods, Legally Blonde) Sorry I really couldn't help it, it was such a good movie quote moment. :) I guess it's easier to be more positive when you can see that something ANYTHING is happening. You are making an effort towards your goal. So, needless to say, I can't wait to go back to our class on Monday for another dose of butt kicking! :)
Also good movies always help me out. Josh and I rented "Zack and Miri Make a Porno". Yes it is rated R. Yes it is about Porn. Yes it has EXCESSIVE language and nudity. But what you may not know is that it is written and directed by one of my favorites, Kevin Smith, who also wrote and directed "Clerks", "Dogma", "Mallrats", "Chasing Amy" and "Jersey Girl". This movie is what you would expect from Kevin Smith, which means it delivers smart "word" comedy, dirty "naughty" comedy, sweet moments in unexpected places, and a great cast. If you are willing to lower your standards and are prepared for ANYTHING, see this movie! Seriously, you won't regret it. Well...maybe a little, but you'll definitely enjoy it more than you ever thought you would enjoy a movie about making a porno. I know I did.
Larisa's "Zack and Miri Make a Porno" Rating: A+ for orignality, comedy genius, and a satisfying ending that only Kevin Smith can give me. (No dirty pun intended)
Feeling Better,
Larisa
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Money, Weight, and Other Heavy Matters
Another wave of thanks to my mom, my husband, Mrs.Neutz and other friends and family who have helped to make me smile and laugh during these days. I have truly appreciated each of you more than you could possibly know. I am beyond blessed to have so many people encourage, inspire, help, care, and love me. Thank you for every e-mail, every song, every prayer, every smile, every phone call, every lunch date, everything. Thank you sincerely from the bottom of my smiling dimples! :)
Each day is getting slowly easier while still being difficult. My main causes for this depression are my money, my job, and my weight. Money is difficult for everyone and I probably worry about it too much but doesn't everyone? There is never enough. I mean, we have enough to pay the bills but never any left to get ahead. I feel like we are stuck on like a money treadmill. No matter hwo much you run, you never get anywhere. I LOVE my job. Artemisia is seriously the best place I have ever worked with the best people and the best food! My two favorite things! It's just right now I can't afford the job I love and I would take a job that I would hate just to make the money. However, I have tiredlessly searched and searched for jobs and there is hardly anything out there that I am A) qualified for, B) close to home, or C) pays more than Artemisia. Now, keep in mind I am not making alot of money at Artemisia but apparently it is paying the bills.
I have never had problems with my weight until I got married. I don't think I "let myself go" it's just that circumstances changed. I wasn't running around Best Buy all day anymore, I had gotten an office job. Fast Food was cheaper and faster than home cooked food. All the normal excuses. For the first time in a long time, I don't wanna look in the mirror anymore. My clothes don't fit right anymore. I hate the way I look. Most of the time, I just wear sweats and a hoodie so I can't see it.
After all my complaining, I am actively doing something about each of my problems. I am going to exercise classes and dieting. I am calling about all of our bills to see what we can do or cancel or change to help with the monthly expenses. I am looking for work ANYWHERE doing just about ANYTHING. Of course, any ideas are always welcome.
Broke, Fat, and on Xanax,
Larisa
Each day is getting slowly easier while still being difficult. My main causes for this depression are my money, my job, and my weight. Money is difficult for everyone and I probably worry about it too much but doesn't everyone? There is never enough. I mean, we have enough to pay the bills but never any left to get ahead. I feel like we are stuck on like a money treadmill. No matter hwo much you run, you never get anywhere. I LOVE my job. Artemisia is seriously the best place I have ever worked with the best people and the best food! My two favorite things! It's just right now I can't afford the job I love and I would take a job that I would hate just to make the money. However, I have tiredlessly searched and searched for jobs and there is hardly anything out there that I am A) qualified for, B) close to home, or C) pays more than Artemisia. Now, keep in mind I am not making alot of money at Artemisia but apparently it is paying the bills.
I have never had problems with my weight until I got married. I don't think I "let myself go" it's just that circumstances changed. I wasn't running around Best Buy all day anymore, I had gotten an office job. Fast Food was cheaper and faster than home cooked food. All the normal excuses. For the first time in a long time, I don't wanna look in the mirror anymore. My clothes don't fit right anymore. I hate the way I look. Most of the time, I just wear sweats and a hoodie so I can't see it.
After all my complaining, I am actively doing something about each of my problems. I am going to exercise classes and dieting. I am calling about all of our bills to see what we can do or cancel or change to help with the monthly expenses. I am looking for work ANYWHERE doing just about ANYTHING. Of course, any ideas are always welcome.
Broke, Fat, and on Xanax,
Larisa
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
"Could I" by Kim McMechan
The following lyrics are from a praise song I learned when I had vocal lessons with Mrs. Neutz. She has sent me so much love and encouragement since starting this blog. I appreciate her and having her in my life has been such a blessing. She continues to remind me of God's grace, mercy, and infinite wisdom. Thank you so much Mrs. Neutz. You have made such a positive impact on my life. This song describes how helpless I feel at this moment. I love this song. It is so beautiful. It is a release. It is a giving up of the spirit to God to take control. It is a realization that we are not in control and that we need to let go.
I have been down so much lately. I have never been as depressed in my life as I have been lately. I keep trying to find something to be happy about or be relieved that I don't have to worry about. I know I'm not the only one having a hard time in this economy. It just makes me feel so awful because usually I am the first one to be positive or be able to envision the good in the future. Now I can't see beyond the nose on my face.
Could I,
Larisa
Could I
Kim McMechan
VERSE 1:----------------
Could I just sit here a while
Know that there’s nothing that I need to say
Safe in the knowledge that You know my ways
Love me completely no need to hide a thing
Could I just stay here a while
Letting You melt away all of my fears
I feel Your comfort when You are so near
I’ll hide myself in this shelter You’ve made for me
CHORUS:
Could I (x2)
VERSE 2:
Could I just kneel here a while
Doing what I was created to do
Bowing in reverence I long to adore You
Willingly giving all that I can surrender
Could I just rest here a while
Letting You whisper my burdens away
In all of my journeys there’s no other place
Where I find refuge strength for my weary heart
I have been down so much lately. I have never been as depressed in my life as I have been lately. I keep trying to find something to be happy about or be relieved that I don't have to worry about. I know I'm not the only one having a hard time in this economy. It just makes me feel so awful because usually I am the first one to be positive or be able to envision the good in the future. Now I can't see beyond the nose on my face.
Could I,
Larisa
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Exhausted
I am empty today.
I have given all my strength away to worrying.
I have nothing left within me.
I am exhausted today.
I have done all I know to do.
I have nothing left I know.
I am down today.
I have lost my happiness for a minute.
I have no more positivity.
I am empty today.
I have to find hope.
I have to find peace.
I am needy today.
I have to lift my head up.
I have to stop crying.
I am exhausted.
I have used everything.
I have been used up.
Larisa 2009
I have given all my strength away to worrying.
I have nothing left within me.
I am exhausted today.
I have done all I know to do.
I have nothing left I know.
I am down today.
I have lost my happiness for a minute.
I have no more positivity.
I am empty today.
I have to find hope.
I have to find peace.
I am needy today.
I have to lift my head up.
I have to stop crying.
I am exhausted.
I have used everything.
I have been used up.
Larisa 2009
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