Lame TV Slump

I watch my fair share of TV shows and I enjoy them.

My usual TV schedule was:
Everyday: Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy
Mondays: Dancing with the Stars
Tuesdays: Dancing with the Stars Results
Wednesdays: South Park
Thursdays: My Name is Earl and The Office

But during this season, there is NOTHING on TV but re-runs. I know I should probably be doing something else more productive during these times but I like my shows and it's time Josh and I spend together. Ugh! I can't wait for something new to come on! During the slump, Josh and I usually try to watch one of the older TV series we have that we haven't watched in awhile or we watch movies instead but movies take up more time than the TV shows they replace.

My all time favorite TV show is "I Love Lucy". It is always funny no matter how many times you watch it and it's clean. Not that being "clean" has anything to do with me liking it but it goes to show that comedy can actually be appropriate for everyone not just adults.

My favorite TV show that is currently on is a big tie between "The Office" and "South Park". The Office is so hysterical. I laugh every time I see that show for a new reason. Michael (Steve Carrell) is the king of awkward comedy and I always love seeing what Jim (John Krasenski) and Pam (Jenna Fischer) are going to do to Dwight (Rainn Wilson).

South Park is probably the most controversial show that I really love. I know, I know. I shouldn't like it but I do! It has great current event satire and everyone knows how "not" sarcastic I am :).

Missing the new TV season,
Larisa

My Girls

Lola

Lola is my diva. Currently, she is sitting in my lap as I type this, looking smugly down at the other puppies not in my lap. She is the alpha dog of our little pack. When we got her at Noah's Ark Pets, she weighed just under one pound. We had to cut socks for her to wear. We tried to take her outside but it was January when we got her and she would sit on our shoes. She is so prissy. She thinks she is so much better than the other dogs. She loves to wear little doggie clothes and she loves to travel. She is affectionate but on her terms. She will come to you when she wants to be petted and snuggle close to your hands to make sure you know. :) My favorite thing about Lola is when she is really happy she wags her tail and pulls back her ears and looks like she is smiling.

Chloe

Chloe was our second little girl. We got her to be a friend to Lola. When we moved into our house, Lola got lonely because we had been living with my parents who have two other dogs. Chloe was so shy and skittish when we got her. She wouldn't even play with Lola but Lola was so excited to have another dog in the house I don't think she really cared. Chloe's tail is my favorite! She is always so happy and her tail wags so hard you can hear it throughout the house. Thump, Thump, Thump. You can tell where she is always. She is our good girl and our referree. She breaks up the fights between Lola and Hannah. She even took to Hannah when we first got her as her momma. It was so sweet. :)

Hannah

The picture really says it all. Hannah is our youngest puppy. She has an attitude and therefore is our little trouble maker. She LOVES to chew up paper, bark, run, andstart fights with the other dogs. Her all time favorite thing to do though is to play fetch. She will fetch FOREVER! She also always feels the urge to play with a squeaky toy when I'm on the phone. This never seems to fail. Call me anytime so she can demostrate. :) However, she can be just as sweet as the rest of them when she slows down and decides to curl up in your lap.

Typing quietly so Lola doesn't wake up and realize this whole blog isn't all about her,
Larisa

Past Poems I have Authored

Here are two poems I wrote in my senior year of high school. Enjoy!

"She is Me"

As I sit here at my desk

I stare at my mirror

I see a young girl, only 17

Staring back into my eyes

She is a dreamer, a planner, and a learner

Just like me

She has confident brown eyes and unique features

Just like me

She is creative and inspired by music

Just like me

She is a worker, a Christian, a girlfriend, and a daughter

Just like me

She laughs, cries, smiles, and frowns

Just like everyone else

She loves, hopes, wishes, and dreams

Just like everyone else

She has wants and needs, questions and answers

Just like everyone else

She blends in and stands out

Just like everyone else

She is familiar, yet a stranger

She is loud, yet silent

She is different, yet the same

She is strong, yet weak

She is you, yet she is me.

Larisa Childress 2005

“Only You”

You can quench my thirst better than rushing rivers.

You can take me to the sky’s limit because your love is limitless.

Your love shines brighter than a thousand stars.

Your love could fill all the books of time with its passion.

Your love is more beautiful than the evening sunset.

Your love is my absolute truth that no one can deny.

Your love is a harmony that is better than any love song.

Your love is as loud as church bells shouting out the time.

Your love is unspeakable through mere words.

Your love is higher than any mountain peak.

Your love warms me, protects me through winter’s iciest freeze.

You love is perfect like God’s creation.

Your love is musical, proclaiming itself for all to hear.

Your love belongs to me and no one will ever steal it from my heart.

If all these things I have described are proven, then it must be true

My everlasting love must only be fulfilled by

You.

Larisa Childress 2004

Goals for 2009 & A Big Thanks

I still haven't came up with a good "greeting" for this part. I need some creativity. If anyone has any suggestions, please comment.

As you all know, I created this blog to help with my anxiety therapy as part of my New Year's Resolution. For some reason, I have become a big supporter of New Year's Resolutions and keeping them. I don't know how they originated and I know most people don't really keep them but I like the idea. I try not to pick things I know I will never do, such as getting over my fear of needles (EKKKKK!) or getting up everyday at 6am (all I have to say is if I'm anything like my mom this will happen in time anyway). I try to pick things or one thing that I know I can do. Like the reading thing for 2008, I can read but I wasn't doing alot of it and I wanted to read more. I have read an adequate amount of books, nothing like what I used to have to read for school but a good pile of books none the less.

I also have a list of goals for 2009. To me, my goals aren't like my resolution. My goals are kind of a broad to do list that will probably take a year to accomplish. I thought I would also include this in my blog to keep me more accountable as well. However, me placing this stuff on my blog isn't so people will hound me into doing them because I want to be accountable but because I feel like if I write it down I am more dedicated to doing it. Of course you are welcome to ask how my goals are coming but just don't hound me about it. I also don't mean that anyone who knows me and reads my blog would hound me about it I'm just putting it out there just in case someone finds it amusing to like e-mail me or call me everyday and ask.

Now that thats out of the way, on with the list.

1. Clean out my storage room downstairs and donate items or have a yard sale.
2. Being a Coupon Queen (I'll explain this later, too long to write now)
3. Paint some rooms in our house (I really want to do this. Any volunteers?)
4. Repay on some outstanding debts we owe.
5. Make some headway on watching all 100 of AFI's Best movies of all time list
6. Keep growing my nails and not chewing them
   
7. Lose some weight (I need help with this)
8. Keep taking vitamins
   
9. Try new recipes and share them with my family and friends
10. Budget our money better.

A BIG THANKS to all my wonderful family and friends that are actually follwing my blog. It really makes me feel great! I love knowing that people will read what I'm writing! It makes me feel so special and keeps me writing everyday. I know this is still new and I'm probably really boring but I appreciate anyone who is reading this taking the time to. Thank you for your support and encouragement. It is deeply appreciated from the bottom of my typing fingers.

Faithfully Typing,
Larisa

Quotes that I Enjoy

"Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired." - Robert Frost

"A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together.It is when an imperfect couples learns to enjoy their differences" - Dave Meurer

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person." - Mignon McLaughlin

"I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." - Rita Rudner

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." - Bernard Williams

" Life itself is the most wonderful fairytale of all." - Hans Christian Andersen

"In politics, if you want anything said ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman." - Margaret Thatcher

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult." - Charlotte Whitton

"When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason." - Molly McGee

"What the world really needs is more love and less paper work." - Pearl Bailey

"The best way to cheer yourself is to cheer somebody else up." - Mark Twain

"How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars. " - Steve Martin

"A word to the wise ain't necessary -- it's the stupid ones that need the advice." - Bill Cosby

"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill

Enjoy!
Larisa

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

I must have been really good this year! I was so completely overwhelmed with love and gifts. I know I wasn't really that good.

We had Christmas morning at our house with our family. It was a great time of fellowship and FOOD! I love hostessing parties for our family and making my home welcome to them.

There's only one downfall to Christmas. Two actually. The first is it goes by too quick. The second and the one I really want to talk about is I'm always anxious at Christmas. I remember last Christmas was so hard for me before I knew about my panic disorder. One side of me wanted to have all the fun that I always want to have and the other half didn't want to be around anyone. Like I said, I didn't know at the time that what was causing this was my anxiety but I knew something was wrong. It wasn't like me to want to feel completely secluded from everyone I love. That is not me. I always want to spend time with my family. I very rarely want to be completely alone.

I guess I should probably also take this time to kind of "lightly" describe what happens to me during my panic attacks. I don't know how much my readers are aware of that goes on but it is different for everyone in regards to how the anxiety attacks are triggered and how they "play" out.

Here is a run down of what happens to me.

1. I start to feel hot and I fidget. I will play with my hands or bite the inside of my lip and look around nervously.
   
2. I will feel very nauseated. Sometimes, when it is very bad I will feel like I am going to pass out and I continue to fidget.
3. At this point I should take medication but I never want to. I always think I can control it. This is part of my problem because then I will get so sick and nervous I will have to leave wherever I am.

I feel good though that this Christmas was much easier for me. I really had a great time. I was so glad I could stay at all my Christmas parties I had to go to. I felt so proud. I know that I am more able to handle my anxiety. I feel more confident. I think that was one of the greatest Christmas gifts: to be able to enjoy Christmas fully. I can look forward to next year's Christmas because I know I will only get better in time.

Merry Christmas,
Larisa

Christmas Eve

This is my 2nd Christmas being married and having our own house. Our house is filled with chihuahuas, food, and family (specifically my sis in law Breezy who is spending the night).

I know I have said this to my mom but it only becomes more true as time goes by being an "adult". When I lived with my parents, Christmas was so special. Waking up early in the morning, staying in our pajamas while mom cooked an AWESOME breakfast, and we would open our gifts all together. Now, it's different. We (Josh & I) wake up alone to a house filled with puppies but no other people (except this year). We will get our house ready for our families to come and see us but it isn't really the same. Not to say that I don't absolutely LOVE Christmas but it's just different now that we are on our own.

I realize that this is sounding sad because Breezy is reading this and said so. Ummmm...happy thoughts for Christmas. I remember the year "Santa" left footprints in our house from the snow. That was amazing! I remember the many Christmas Dad made it home just in time and how happy I was that he was back home, safe and sound. I remember mom always buying me Christmas pajamas and we would spend a day baking cookies in our pajamas. I remember always buying a special ornament for each year from Hallmark or Carlton Cards and how hard it was to just pick one.

I now realize how much my parents loved me to make sure that every Christmas I got great gifts. I never took into consideration that they already spent all year buying "presents" for me. Maybe not in the form of gift wrapped boxes but they paid for my tuition to a private school to better my education. They took me EVERYWHERE before I had a license. They let me try soccerr, piano lessons, voice lessons, girl scouts, choir, praise band, and dancing. They feed me and my friends EVERYDAY (this alone had to be like several thousands of dollars. We like to eat. :))

My parents were the reason for Christmas magic for me. I hope, one day, I will be able to pass along that same magic to my children. But for now, I will remember all the many, many, many things I am thankful for and remember all the magic in a new way, by giving.

Have a magical Christmas,
Larisa

The Night Before The Night Before Christmas

Twas the night before the night before Christmas
And all through the house
All the chihuahuas were stirring
Playing with my new blouse
The presents were stacked by the tree with care
In hopes that dogs, opening they would not dare
Soon all the hua's would be snug in their beds
While visions of bones and toys danced in their heads
And Josh playing WoW and I with my laptop
Had just settled down from having to last minute shop
When out on the porch there rose such a clatter
I yelled out to Josh to go see what was the matter
Away through the house he ran like the flash
Pushing through the back door and taking out the trash
He stepped in some dog presents and slid into the snow
Cursing, Bruising, and Grumbling as he fell below
I finally rose from bed from all the noise I did hear
When I saw the sled and I saw the reindeer
I couldn't believe my eyes I rubbed them quick
When who should I see in our yard but St. Nick!
He said he heard we had the cutest huas to claim
He just wanted to see them and so did the reindeers by name
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!

On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away, dash away dash away all!"



Merry Christmas,
Larisa

My Annual Christmas Party

Success!

I love Christmas. It is my favorite time of year. The songs, the lights, the snow, the magic. But my most favorite thing is my annual Christmas party with my girls from High School, Megan, Nicole, Brittany, and Jill. This year's party was no exception. It was fabulous. The food is great. The presents were fun! The best part is always just being able to catch up with everyone.

It is rarer and rarer now to be able to catch up with everyone at once. Everyone has their own lives going on and their own responsibilities. Sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday when we were all in class together, laughing and cutting up, and other times it feels like it has been forever. When everyone is together though, all barriers are down and everyone can't get enough of the time we have together.

To all my girls, thanks for making this year another success. You all are dear to me and I am so glad we always make time at Christmas to spend time together. I want all of you to know I pray for all of you and want the absolute best for you always.

Reminiscing,
Larisa

Thankful and Blessed

I love my husband, Josh.

This is probably going to be one of many times that this sentence will be used.

If there is one thing I would stake my life on or anyone else's life for that matter, it would be that the love between Josh and I grows in new and sometimes weird ways every second of every day.

God has truly blessed me with a wonderful soul mate that cares for me when I am hacking my lungs out, who still thinks I'm beautiful even without my make up, who tries to make me smile and laugh everyday, and who is sitting less than 3 feet away from me, in his pajamas, playing World of Warcraft while "Horton Hears a Who" is on the TV (for my benefit).

I can't imagine my life without Josh. We have been together for over 8 years now. We did a good magority of our growing up together which in our case I believe has made our relationship stronger. I could use all those cliches from the great romance movies, "You had me at hello", "Here's looking at you kid", etc. but nothing ever really touches it.

All I can say is that I am thankful and grateful to be the wife of this man.

In love with my Husband,
Larisa

YEAH! I figured it out!

SWEET!

I finally figured out how to put my photos on here!

Check out my slideshow on the side of my blog!

Also I have pictures on Flickr with descriptions and such.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/joshandlarisacrawley/

Maybe one day I will find a better solution to this but for right now if you would like to see some photos from my life and my adorable puppies please use the above link.

Also please check out the bottom of the blog: the section called Larisa's Life Lyrics. If you click on the song you will be able to hear it while you check out my blog. These are some of my favorites songs by some of my favorite artists.

Proudly,
Larisa

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired...also the meaning of life sort of

This is the weirdest part of writing this blog thing. I don't know how to begin these posts. Is this normal? Being anxious about beginning this? Oh ok whatever I'll figure this out later. If anyone out there has any suggestions, please let me know.

I have already been sick with this cold thing before. It starts with the all time worse symptom ever...sandpaper throat. I hate this. I love to talk so this symptom is bad to begin with. Second comes the faucet nose. I have already been through 2 boxes of Antiviral Kleenex today only! Next because my nose is runny and my throat hurts is that "tickle" in my throat that now makes me cough which makes the sand paper in my throat rub together and hurt more.

I love to sleep. However, I can't sleep or get to sleeping with all these gross things going on. So, naturally, like any other sick person, I try to do all those activites and medications that are supposed to help. I start out with the ever delightful nasal spray, followed closely by the Breathe Right Strips, then Vicks cream on my chest that I never can seem to smell no matter how much I put on. I do all my normal nightly things (take my "anti-crazy" pills & vitamins, crawl into bed and read for awhile) and then comes the worse part. Lying in bed staring at the ceiling or Tv, listening to Josh snore LOUDLY beside me and I am not feeling tired whatsoever.

Here comes my trying to sleep rituals.

1. I close my eyes and make a deal with myself. If the TV is on and I can keep my eyes closed for a full episode, then I can reward myself by watching an episode. The end result: Hopefully I will fall alsleep within the 23 odd minutes it takes for a full TV episode.
2. If the 1st ritual doesn't work, then I start counting or thinking of all the things I accomplished throughout the day. Sometimes this option makes me anxious or gets me thinking about all the things I didn't do or things I need to do tomorrow. This option is dangerous.
   
3. This is my favorite option but it really stimulates my imagination. I start thinking about all kinds of dream scernarios that I would want to have. Places I want to go, people I wish I could meet or people I miss, things I wish I could be or do. I love this option but my creative side goes crazy.

Ok enough of me talking about all these weird things about me that no one should really know or even care to know.

I wanted to say I believe I'm supposed to write this blog thing. I had a sign about it already and I just started writing yesterday. I feel good about it. Probably first time I have felt good about myself doing something for myself in a while actually. I know I'm not the most interesting person in the world and I'm not exactly normal but who is? I'm learning more and more about life as I live it and as I interact with other people on their life journeys. This blog was created for my benefit but I have realized that it may be helping other people or making other poeple laugh or smile or whatever. If that is all that happens, then it is worth it. Really, really worth it.

Smiling through the snot on my face,
Larisa

P.S. I always knew how I would end these but the beginnings are still a work in progress.

Blogger Virgin

Hello to all friends, family, and others who are reading this,

I know it's not New Year's yet but I wanted to get a head start on my resolution but first a quick back story on last year's new years resolution. I "resolved" last year that I would read more and I have successfully committed to it. I have read such novels as "Memoirs of a Geisha", several of Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series books, and more recently I have been reading the Twilight series out of curiosity.

This year, 2009, I have "resolved" that I will write more. Now, I have been told since I had my first anxiety attack in February 2008 that I should journal as a way of therapy because I used to write as a past time. So now finally in December 2008 I decided to take my doctor's advice. However, I know myself well enough that I need to be held accountable to others other than myself so I therefore decided to write a blog. I have never done this before and I am normally a rather private person.

I really don't care what other people think about this blog. If you don't know me or don't care about me then don't read this. No offense to anyone in particular but I am using this as a way to catalog my life and help with my anxiety. I want to do this for my own benefit. However, any comments will be responded to and appreciated.

Resolved,
Larisa