I must have been really good this year! I was so completely overwhelmed with love and gifts. I know I wasn't really that good.
We had Christmas morning at our house with our family. It was a great time of fellowship and FOOD! I love hostessing parties for our family and making my home welcome to them.
There's only one downfall to Christmas. Two actually. The first is it goes by too quick. The second and the one I really want to talk about is I'm always anxious at Christmas. I remember last Christmas was so hard for me before I knew about my panic disorder. One side of me wanted to have all the fun that I always want to have and the other half didn't want to be around anyone. Like I said, I didn't know at the time that what was causing this was my anxiety but I knew something was wrong. It wasn't like me to want to feel completely secluded from everyone I love. That is not me. I always want to spend time with my family. I very rarely want to be completely alone.
I guess I should probably also take this time to kind of "lightly" describe what happens to me during my panic attacks. I don't know how much my readers are aware of that goes on but it is different for everyone in regards to how the anxiety attacks are triggered and how they "play" out.
Here is a run down of what happens to me.
- I start to feel hot and I fidget. I will play with my hands or bite the inside of my lip and look around nervously.
- I will feel very nauseated. Sometimes, when it is very bad I will feel like I am going to pass out and I continue to fidget.
- At this point I should take medication but I never want to. I always think I can control it. This is part of my problem because then I will get so sick and nervous I will have to leave wherever I am.
Merry Christmas,
Larisa
No comments:
Post a Comment